These damn bunnies keep venturing into our orchard in my family's backyard and eating our crops. I feel you Elmer Fudd, these waskly wabbits have got to go. But how to keep them away? Tactics range from the humane to the downright dastardly. Apparently a natural trick is to plant marigolds around the crops you wish to protect because the bad smell wards them off. But yesterday my pops found a little haired-devil sitting right on a flower munching on a head of lettuce.
I suppose we could trap them too. Perhaps set out some delicious roofie-laden hay grass or tie up metal cages on ropes and lay out trip wires to spring the automatic traps and send the cages hurtling down around the rabbits. But now we're getting into some complicated road-runner Acme gadget technology that seems like a bit too much work for easy-going summer living. And what would we do when we caught the bunnies? I say we should eat them up since i've personally never nommmed on delicious wild bunnies before (profuse apologies to my veg-head friends). Or maybe we could keep them as delicious, woops I mean adorable, pets.
The last option is the most deadly, death or mortal wounding by shooting. That doesn't really bother me but the difficulty comes in if we almost kill them but they manage to live on. I can't have a weeping, almost-mortally wounded bunny on my conscience. I may be morally flexible but i'm not a sociopath! Thoughts? Suggestions? General abuse and mockery?
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